Malk
by KnightSpark
Summary: Audrey asks Nikki to get a drink from the fridge. Nikki thought she wanted milk, but it turned out to be something else entirely.


**KS: I honestly don't know why I do this. Oh yeah, now I know. 'Cuz it's fun. Anyway, enjoy.**

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Tiffany, Audrey and Nikki were in the kitchen, doing their calculus homework. Due to events that involved Audrey's usual antics, they were behind on their work and had to finish it by tomorrow. Unsurprisingly, Audrey wanted no part of doing calculus, saying that it was more 'boring than watching paint dry in winter', but reluctantly changed her mind when Tiffany threatened to tell Aiko that she was smoking in the washroom. And so, the girls were at their books, working away. Nikki got up from her chair and stretched her legs, feeling cramped from sitting down for so long.

"Hey, Tiffany, you got anything to drink?" the gamer asked.

"Yeah, in the fridge," Tiffany replied. Nikki walked over to the fridge and opened it, looking high and low for a drink. She found a bottle of orange juice on the bottom and picked it up.

"Hey, Nik," Audrey called out. "Could you get me a glass of malk?"

Nikki turned to the redhead in confusion, wondering why she said 'milk' wrong.

"Uh… I don't see this 'malk' you're talking about, but there is some milk in here," she responded.

"But, that's what she said," Tiffany said.

Audrey nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Now get me some damn malk."

Nikki sighed in frustration and turned to her friends, wondering if they were messing with her.

"Okay, look here. Both of you are saying it wrong. You're saying 'malk' like it's a virus or some crap."

"Well, how do _you_ say it?" Tiffany asked.

Nikki let out a low growl and rubbed her eyes. "I say like any other person who would say it. Milk. M-I-L-K."

"Yeah, like, two percent," Tiffany said.

"Right, whole malk," Audrey added. Nikki bit the bottom of her lip, trying hard to surpress her anger at the two. Surely they were just messing with… right?

"Okay, okay, okay," she said, regaining her composure. "Audrey, say 'milkshake'."

"Milkshake," Audrey repeated.

"Now say 'milk tea'.

"Milk tea."

Nikki smiled, seeing how she was making progress. "Great. Now say 'milk'."

"Malk."

Nikki's smile was quickly replaced with an annoyed glare. "Are you hearing this crap?" she asked, turning to Tiffany.

The cheerleader nodded. "Yes, Nikki. Audrey wants a glass of mulk.

Nikki's eye began to twitch in anger. "Mulk?!"

"Just give her some mulk, Nik!" she demanded loudly.

"Hey, what's going on here?" a tired voice asked. The girls turned to the bedroom door to see Jessie walking towards them, wearing a robe and rubbing her tired eyes. "Tiff, sweetheart, could you keep it down a bit? I had a little too much to drink last night and I got a splitting headache."

"Sorry, Mom," Tiffany said softly. "We'll try to keep it down." Jessie nodded and walked back into her room. Unfortunately for her, things got louder from that point forward.

"Nik!" Audrey snapped. "Pour me a glass of malk!"

"Why are you yelling at me?!" Nikki snapped back.

"Nikki, just give her some mulk so we can be done with this!" Tiffany yelled.

"You're not even saying the same thing!"

"We're all saying malk, Nik!"

"No, we're not! I'm saying milk, you're saying malk, she's saying-"

Nikki was interrupted when Tiffany and Audrey both said malk and mulk, respectively, in different tones and octaves. Audrey held a note when she said, or rather, sang 'malk', Nikki finally lost it.

"SHUT UP!" she yelled, pulling out a gun and pointing it at her head. "BOTH OF YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Tiffany and Audrey looked at each other, then pulled out guns of their own and pointed them at their friend.

"Nik, drop it!" Audrey demanded.

"It's not worth it! Put it down!" Tiffany yelled.

Nikki gave them looks of disbelief. "Are you seriously planning to shoot me if I shoot myself?"

They realize she was right and turned their guns on their own heads, threatening to do the same. Pretty soon, they were all yelling while shedding tears.

"Just pour her some mulk, already!"

"Put your gun down!"

"I always thought of you as a little sister!"

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"And then, we all pull the trigger at the same time," Nikki explained, playing Warframe on her computer. Tiffany and Audrey stare at her blankly.

"Y-You are joking, right?" Audrey asked nervously.

"No, why?"

"Well, doesn't it seem a bit… dark to you?" Tiffany asked.

Nikki stopped playing and turned to them. "What do you mean, dark?"

"We shoot ourselves in the end, Nik. Explain to me how it's not dark."

Nikki sighed while slumping in her chair. "You know what? We probably need another idea for a video."

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 **KS: Yes, this is a parody from that one video. You know what it is. It's same as the title of this fic. Also, check out my profile, got my first poll going on, so be sure to take a look.**


End file.
